I’m sure we’ve all reached a point where we no longer trust anything, where there seems to be no hope—or at least that’s how it feels—no optimism, and we sink deeper and deeper into the clouds of a storm.
If you’ve been through something like that, you’re in the right place. Together we’ll look at what positive psychology says about optimism and how we can apply it in our own lives.
First, a short introduction to what positive psychology is and what it can offer.
Positive psychology is a branch of psychology that was formally established in 1998 by Martin Seligman. As a field, it focuses on the positive aspects of life: optimism, resilience, self-fulfilment, self-esteem, hope and more.
We’re going to focus on optimism. By 2023 it had declined for many people; it can feel as if no one is optimistic anymore, no one has hope, no one has self-esteem. That often happens because times have changed—we live with pressures like rising costs, unemployment and low wages, so that many people struggle to make ends meet or cover their obligations.
Positive psychology, though, is there to offer a little light. It tells you, in its own way, that you don’t have to give up hope or stay so pessimistic. It teaches you to value yourself even in small things that you might think don’t matter.
One of the most important things this field has taught me is to be a bit kinder to ourselves, to be on our own side, to have faith in ourselves, and to learn what we really like and don’t like—because knowing yourself and getting closer to who you are is a basic step for self-esteem.
We need to pay attention to solutions to problems, not only to the problem itself, because those two paths lead in different directions.
One path is positive and the other is negative.
- The positive path is to focus on the solution. That’s where optimism comes in. When you tell yourself you can do it, you can find a way, you can cope, you can come out stronger from this difficulty, the solution tends to feel closer—because you’re looking for ways to move forward and ease things like constant anxiety.
- The negative path is to focus only on the problem. The problem then tends to grow and grow with no ceiling. You think in negative loops, you feel a weight in your chest, you say harsh things about yourself, you see no colour around you, your anxiety peaks, and every day you wake up with a heaviness in your chest—as if the sky might fall on you. The downside of this path is that once you start seeing everything in black, it can become a habit. It’s something the mind does automatically.
So how can we bring optimism closer?
Optimism is one of the powerful tools we need in life. It helps us see things from another angle and a bit more positively—that there can be a solution and that things can get better; time often does a lot of the healing.
The truth here is that optimism is often seen as a deep human need, not a psychological illusion.
Research suggests that people who tend to be optimistic are often healthier, more balanced and report greater wellbeing than those who are pessimistic. Since 1998, various studies have looked at optimistic individuals, and the results often show that they tend to have better life satisfaction, be more outgoing, feel more capable and cope more easily with setbacks than those who are more pessimistic.
As I said, focusing on the solution is usually more effective than focusing only on the problem—things flow more smoothly, thinking changes, and anxiety often eases compared with before.
It eases when our mind is clearer because we’re trying to get through each difficult moment and we try not to turn a small problem into a bigger one by fixating on the problem.
I’m sure no one wants to live with constant anxiety, or that dark cloud over their head. I’m sure we all want a calmer life, a life with more colour and connection—but we also need to be on our own side, to try to change, to aim for something better, not to give up so easily, to have faith and to say “thank you” each day we wake up and we’re okay.
Our psychological state is a delicate matter, in my experience—but what many people haven’t fully grasped is that if you give up on yourself, you may feel as if life has given up on you too.
The year 2023 has come to an end. It’s time to take life into your own hands from scratch—because it’s never too late to do things, never too late to start over and never too late to change the way you think and see things. Bring optimism, hope and self-esteem into your life, because they go together. Where optimism goes, its partner follows.
We can start with a simple exercise I’ve put together, applied in my own life and found helpful.
POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY EXERCISE
Buy a notebook in a colour you like and give it a name that makes you feel safe—like we did as kids with our diaries.
You’ll use a blue pen and a red pen. Blue is for the positive and red for the negative, because red has always reminded us of something wrong. In that moment the mind says: Why do I have so many mistakes? What did I do wrong? I need to fix it and do better next time.
Each day, write the date and draw a bucket in blue. Put inside the bucket everything negative and everything positive from your day. Count how many negative and how many positive points you have.
If you have more negatives than positives, ask yourself:
- What is better for me?
- Is it worth thinking only negatively and not focusing on the solution?
- Which approach will give me better results?
- Is it worth not being optimistic?
- What did I do wrong today regarding the negative things?
Then sit down and expand on these questions in your notebook.
The result is that you’ll slowly start to see things differently and think differently. The red of the negatives can motivate you to change, to be kinder to yourself, and your optimism can grow while the dark cloud overhead lifts.
Of course problems are part of daily life for all of us, and some are very serious—but the ones we can do something about, we can tackle and change over time.
Let’s not lose courage; let’s not give up so easily—especially young people, who haven’t yet learned to face hardship and can be very sensitive. Older people, like our parents and grandparents, have been through more difficulties, but their courage doesn’t fade. If you have children, you fight for a better future.
Young people are vulnerable and don’t always know how to handle certain things—but optimism can live inside us; we can choose to think in a more hopeful way.
Finally, one thing I learned in my studies is that research suggests optimistic people may have certain cardiovascular advantages compared with more pessimistic people—because our psychological state can affect our body, and chronic stress and the feeling that your chest might burst can play a part. So let’s protect ourselves, together, and aim for a new year with love, joy, gratitude and optimism. If I could change my life and make it better, you can too.
For more on mindset and wellbeing, read Mindset: How to Change It When It’s Limiting Your Life and 10 Habits of Happy People.
Happy Life Team
