Triangulation is a term from psychology that describes a form of manipulation in which one person brings a third person into an existing conflict or interaction to gain control or influence. Although this strategy is often used in family or personal relationships, it is also common in the workplace, where it can create division, tension and toxic dynamics.
This pattern doesn’t only involve two people; it draws in a third to create a new power dynamic. In practice, triangulation works as a way to avoid dealing with a problem directly: the person who is manipulating avoids handling the conflict by bringing in a third party, making the situation more complicated and harder to resolve.
What is triangulation in psychology?
Triangulation is a psychological term for the creation of a “triangle” among three people in order to maintain control or spread the stress of a conflict. In family-systems theory (psychologist Murray Bowen), triangulation is often used when tension between two people is so high that one of them brings in a third to reduce anxiety and shift the dynamic. Instead of solving the problem, this tends to create a vicious cycle where the real conflict is never addressed but is kept going through the new triangle.
In the workplace, triangulation takes the form of a manipulation strategy: one person tries to create division between colleagues or teams to gain personal advantage, power or control. Adding a third person to the conflict or interaction fragments relationships and gets in the way of healthy, collaborative working.
How does triangulation show up at work?
Triangulation at work can show up in several ways. The aim is often to maintain a power balance, keep control and sustain an atmosphere of competition and tension. Common forms include:
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Spreading information or rumours
A common form of workplace triangulation is spreading rumours or distorted information. An employee or manager may pass negative comments about one colleague to another, creating tension and suspicion. That can divide people and undermine cooperation. In these cases, involving a third person is meant to fuel the conflict, not resolve it.
Example: A manager tells an employee that other colleagues think their performance is poor. Even if that isn’t true, the employee may feel under pressure and become distrustful of their colleagues, which damages cooperation.
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Comparing colleagues
Another form of triangulation is comparing employees. A manager may compare two people’s performance in a way that pushes them to compete instead of collaborate. That comparison can create insecurity and tension and make people more vulnerable to manipulation.
Example: A manager constantly praises one employee’s efficiency while criticising another’s in front of others. That can create jealousy or rivalry and pull people away from working as a team.
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Selective sharing of information
Selective sharing of information is another way to create misunderstanding and conflict. The person who is manipulating chooses to reveal only part of the truth or to twist the facts, creating confusion and distrust. That can make others depend more on the person who “has” the information and increase that person’s power.
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Forming alliances
Forming alliances is a common triangulation tactic at work. A manager or colleague may form a close alliance with one person while deliberately leaving others out, or create competing “camps.” That behaviour fuels infighting and a toxic atmosphere.
Example: A manager develops a close relationship with one employee and deliberately leaves others out of discussions. That favouritism can create competition, weaken teamwork and make the office feel hostile.
How to deal with triangulation at work
Recognising triangulation and taking steps to address it is important for keeping a healthy work environment. Here are some strategies that can help you protect yourself from this form of manipulation:
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Open, direct communication
One of the best ways to counter triangulation is to encourage open, honest communication with colleagues. When you notice that you’re involved in or witnessing triangulation, try to talk directly with the other person in the conflict. A direct conversation can restore clarity and reduce further manipulation.
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Set clear boundaries
It’s important to set clear boundaries with colleagues or managers who try to pull you into manipulative situations. Be clear and direct in your relationships and don’t allow others to use you as a go-between in conflicts that don’t concern you.
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Avoid rumours and “alliances”
Don’t take part in rumours or passing on distorted information. Focus on your own work and performance. Joining informal “camps” or spreading negative comments about colleagues reinforces a toxic atmosphere and keeps triangulation going.
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Seek support from HR
If triangulation at work becomes seriously toxic and starts to affect your performance or mental health, it can help to turn to your Human Resources department. HR can step in, look into the situation and suggest ways to improve it.
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Stay objective
When you’re in a triangulation situation, try to stay objective and avoid getting emotionally drawn into conflicts that aren’t yours. Focusing on your own performance and on teamwork can help you rise above the tension.
Conclusion
Triangulation is a powerful form of manipulation that, even when it’s hard to see, can seriously damage workplace dynamics. By recognising the signs early and using the strategies above, you can help protect yourself from manipulation, keep collaboration on track and support your own and your colleagues’ professional wellbeing.
For more on healthy boundaries and workplace wellbeing, see Managing Work Stress and Gaslighting: When Reality Is Distorted.
Happy Life Team
