In the times we live in, we are constantly tested—psychologically and practically. We keep coming up against a harsh social reality in which we are asked to survive. Human beings are highly complex; despite having caused so much harm in the world, they are also the ones who can help put things right.
Our society suffers from a lack of understanding. One way to address this is to nurture empathy—the ability to tune into another person’s emotional state and to understand their behaviour and motives. Cultivating it can help bring our relationships into better balance, with wide-ranging benefits for the world we live in.
How dysfunction in our relationships can grow—a simple example.
How often do we start the day in a good mood, until the first setback triggers a chain of similar negative moments?
Imagine someone who has to wait a very long time in a queue to finish some bureaucratic task. Because of the long wait, feelings of frustration and anger quickly build up, aimed at the system, the institutions and so on. When they are finally seen and come into contact with a member of staff, all those bad feelings are reflected onto that person without them realizing it. So they look for any small flaw in the staff member’s behaviour and then they snap—they become a torrent and create a very negative atmosphere that sadly affects both people.
The worst part is that to release the negativity they’ve been holding, at the first chance each of them may then lash out at whoever gives them the slightest excuse, creating a vicious cycle.
How could all of this have been avoided? How do I break the cycle of anger, frustration and any negative feeling that follows me?
Empathy is a powerful tool for bringing our relationships into better balance.
We live in society, and that alone means we need to understand each other, communicate honestly and listen.
Cultivating empathy—trying to put ourselves in another person’s shoes—can lead to smoother, more meaningful interaction. When we empathize with someone and understand what drives their behaviour, we naturally create a basis for better communication: we no longer place them opposite us as an enemy but beside us as an ally, so we can ease the tension, resolve disagreement and find a way forward.
Managing our impulses so we can show respect.
Learning to see that our fellow human beings, our partners and our colleagues are not punching bags on which we can vent for any reason is difficult—but it is also a first step toward greater self-awareness.
When we manage our emotional ups and downs so that our relationships stay more balanced, we can feel a sense of strength inside and begin to value ourselves a little more in that moment.
Life is never smooth; we are constantly tested from every side. We can’t control much except our own reaction in most situations. Imagine if everyone made an effort to keep their reactions in check. Would there be so much dysfunction in our relationships?
Wake up—things are simpler than you think. Because of overthinking and what you assume to be true, you can’t tell what really is from what only appears to be.
Forgetting and habit: two factors that can flatten our ethical growth.
Forgetting, together with habit, can leave us morally flattened and create a monster.
Forgetting, because we forget. The various victories and achievements we’ve had in life made us forget the person who struggled to get there. So when we meet someone who is perhaps at an earlier stage than us—financially, socially—we can end up dismissing them at the slightest excuse, and even feel a sense of superiority.
Habit, because we stop being moved by what we have. We may have spent a lifetime trying to get it, but once we have it and time passes, it can come to mean nothing.
So we forget and we get used to things, and we flatten whatever is in our path because we may be stronger than it at that moment. Without any real ethical growth, we add our stone to building a society that is so dysfunctional—and in the end we all pay for it.
Life as a kind of game
Life can be compared to a game. We are the character who has to play, and depending on what we gain along the way we build a stronger, more developed player who is constantly faced with harder challenges. How many levels we complete and whether we finish the game with a win depends on how well we played and what we gathered on the way.
Working on ourselves is something we can keep doing throughout our lives. We owe it to ourselves to keep refining our own ethics, because that has a decisive positive effect on the whole of society in the long run.
Cultivating empathy, trying to be as aware as we can, and living by ethical values and reason are tools that can help people—even in the worst conditions—move toward a more peaceful and constructive coexistence, so that society as a whole doesn’t slide backward but can flourish.
For more on understanding others and standing by them without judging, read our articles Let’s Talk About Bullying and Adolescence: The “Ghost” That Haunts Parents and Educators. For more on choosing to change and live in the present, see Don’t Be Afraid to Change Your Life and Happiness as an Absolute Goal.
Happy Life Team
