When we hear the word “darkness” we often feel emptiness, an end, a sense that everything is pointless and finished. From a psychological and emotional point of view we can experience such negative feelings that it’s as if we’ve hit rock bottom and there’s nothing left for us. And perhaps some things have ended.
“The presence and absence of fear: two realities that are equally true.”
As we mature on the inside we go through moments of complete emotional emptiness and great fear. However many words we use later to explain how unreal or unimportant that fear was, at the time we feel it it is utterly real for us.
The good news is that whoever has read this far and has been through a time that felt completely dark knows very well that it was also the turning point that allowed them to go on living a little differently—how? Much stronger!
“Our greatest darknesses are the reservoirs that hold the essence of our inner strength—so we should embrace them and accept them.”
Besides, how would we value the light if we had never known darkness?
We may have been through it without fully “getting over” it; that can be a mental reality and we need to treat it as such. It’s very important to stop putting ourselves back in pain by forcing ourselves to relive a bad experience every time something in our environment triggers it. What we keep watering will take root and grow in the mind.
By building self-mastery we can stop sinking again and again into thoughts that hurt us and cause ourselves ongoing pain over something that simply isn’t here anymore.
“Don’t compare your experiences to other people’s.”
There is no scale for pain. In short, the idea that an experience “wasn’t serious enough” and so a reaction is “over the top” is just the mind’s way of missing the point.
We shouldn’t compare our problems to other people’s, handing out either free passes or harsh judgments. Each person lives through their own darkest moment and only they can truly know it.
Going through our own dark moment gives us many gifts: experience, understanding and a great strength that runs through our whole being, offering us the chance to grow, not to repeat the same mistakes, and even to understand others a little better.
Embrace your worst darkness—it’s what gave you your greatest strength—and then let it go, knowing that you’ve come through it. After that, everything else can feel small and you can feel that you’re capable of anything.
For more on living in the moment and finding balance in light and shadow, read our articles Happiness as an Absolute Goal and There Is No Destination. For more on taking charge of change when life feels stuck, see Don’t Be Afraid to Change Your Life.
Happy Life Team
