There are days when we feel we can handle whatever life throws at us. And then there are days when even a small setback feels overwhelming. What makes the difference?
It isn’t really the circumstances. Many of us know what it’s like to be thrown off by something that normally wouldn’t bother us—and then to bounce back and treat bigger setbacks as part of life.
The difference isn’t what happens: it’s our mental strength. Mental strength helps us resist being derailed by negative thoughts. It helps us recover from life’s ups and downs, day by day. And—like physical strength—it’s a kind of mental muscle we can develop to support our overall wellbeing.
What is mental strength?
Instead of a fixed idea of what “mentally healthy” means, mental strength is about how you respond: How do you react to setbacks or difficult emotions? Do you start looking for solutions, complain about bad luck or shut down?
We can use the analogy of physical health to understand mental strength. Just as physical strength is part of your physical condition, mental strength is part of your mental condition.
Your overall mental “fitness” is the full set of practices that help you maintain and improve your mental state. Mental toughness helps you stay focused in critical moments. But even though resilience helps you perform under pressure, that kind of intense pressure often isn’t sustainable—even for Olympic athletes it can harm mental health.
Mental strength, on the other hand, balances the extremes. It’s our ability to function well and sustainably in the face of challenges and stress—without sacrificing our health, our sense of self or our mental wellbeing. It’s closely linked to resilience. In fact, silver medallists tend to be more resilient than gold medallists.
So mental strength and mental resilience are both part of mental fitness. Resilience helps you block out distractions and negative self-talk. Mental strength helps you keep going. And mental fitness is the set of practices that build both.
What does mental strength look like in practice?
You’re excited about a presentation you’ll soon give to senior leaders. You rehearse your slides and a friend points out a flaw in your approach. You’re completely discouraged after weeks of hard work. You have time to rethink the whole presentation.
Nothing is lost—in fact, hearing about possible pitfalls can help you prepare a stronger presentation. Research has found that one exercise made more difference than any other for developing future-minded leaders: imagining the worst-case scenario. But getting into that solution-focused mindset—instead of panicking—takes mental strength.
Instead of scrapping the presentation or calling in sick, you add another slide with your friend’s feedback. You use it to open the discussion to questions and feedback. The leaders are impressed not only by your hard work but by your openness and foresight. Your mental strength helped you move past your insecurities and find a positive outcome.
Why mental strength matters
In many ways, mental strength—and future-minded thinking—is the flip side of anxiety in action.
If you think about what anxiety is and why it exists, those uncomfortable feelings serve a purpose. Anxiety is meant to alert us to possible threats so we can find ways to cope. But it becomes unhelpful when fear paralyses us.
Mental strength helps us resist that paralysis and stand up to fear and anxiety. When we develop mental strength, we’re better able to reframe anxiety and listen to what it’s trying to tell us: What outcomes should we consider? What’s the worst case? And how can we prepare for it to improve our chances of success?
Mental strength affects us in other important ways too. Here are 5 benefits of building it:
- Less stress
When you’re mentally strong, you tend to stress less about what happens in life—big or small. You see setbacks as a chance to grow. Even when big things happen, you’re better able to reframe them and trust that you’ll get through. You’ve gotten through difficulties before.
Managing stress is one of the most effective ways to support your overall wellbeing. Lower stress levels are linked to lower risk of depression, anxiety and various physical health issues.
- Motivation
Poor mental fitness saps our energy and motivation. We can feel that whatever we do, things go wrong and nothing works.
People who are mentally strong tend to have a stronger sense of control. They believe they can influence their circumstances. That sense of control motivates them to keep trying, growing and looking for solutions. Resilient people don’t give up easily.
Mental strength also supports the discipline and inner drive needed to avoid procrastination. Mentally resilient people are more likely to start and finish what they set out to do.
- Discernment
Part of success in life is knowing what to listen to—and what to ignore. It’s easy to be thrown off by inner and outer criticism. When you develop resilience, it becomes easier to stay focused even when others disagree or when you feel afraid.
Discernment is also key to self-awareness and, in turn, to emotional regulation. As you learn to sit with difficult emotions, you build tolerance for them. Over time you learn which emotions are worth engaging with and which to let pass.
- Courage
When we feel mentally strong, we fear failure less. Even if we worry about the outcome, we find it easier to shift into problem-solving mode. Our confidence is higher, so we feel more sure of our ability to find solutions. We also feel more sure we can survive the worst case—if it happens.
- Adaptability
Building our ability to look for solutions makes us more flexible and adaptable. We spend less time dwelling on what’s wrong and more on how we can get the result we want. We’re also open to the idea that there may be more than one path, solution or definition of success. We don’t cling to everything going exactly as planned, because we’re not as afraid of change.
Ways to build mental strength and resilience
There are clear parallels between physical exercise and mental fitness—not least the importance of daily habits. Those daily habits pay off in crucial moments when you need mental stamina.
Building mental strength means cultivating practices in each of these 7 areas:
- Work with a professional
Working with a mental health professional can be very helpful for building mental strength. After all, the battle often takes place in your head. Therapists are skilled at helping you question unhelpful thought patterns so they don’t drive your behaviour on autopilot.
They often do this using CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy). This approach can be especially helpful for conditions like depression and anxiety. They can also help you take more responsibility as you work toward your goals, reframe setbacks, avoid slipping into unhelpful habits and boost motivation.
- Keep a journal
If you want to check in with your mental health regularly, journaling is a good option. It can help you track your progress over time, which supports self-esteem.
There are no rules for what you write. Try free writing for a few minutes, setting goals or noting stressors that feel overwhelming. Sometimes the act of writing helps the brain start to process challenges—a small step from feeling overwhelmed toward feeling more in control.
- Practise self-compassion
Building self-compassion actually helps build resilience. Focusing on what we do well—instead of only on our failures—keeps us in a growth mindset and helps us avoid a downward spiral. It helps us say: “That didn’t go so well, but here’s what I learned—and how I can do better next time.”
- Step outside your comfort zone
Want to see if you’ve developed the basics of resilience? Throw yourself in the deep end. Like many skills, mental toughness is built through practice. At some point you may need to do something new, unfamiliar or scary—and that’s okay.
Start small or big—it doesn’t matter. Sign up for a class, have coffee with someone who intimidates you or apply for your dream job on LinkedIn. Whatever it is, notice how you react when the scary feelings come. Write about it in your journal and then respond to yourself as you would to a good friend. You’ll learn that you can do hard things—and maybe even enjoy them.
- Build a daily routine
If you were building physical strength, you’d do reps at the gym. To build mental strength, create daily routines that reinforce the skills you’re practising.
Journaling, mindfulness and working with a coach can all be part of that routine. Prioritise whatever helps you pause, reflect and question. Choose thoughts and behaviours that make you feel more confident.
Make sure your routine includes self-care. Often when people are in “personal development mode” they feel every area of life has to be “optimised.” Start small and build. Prioritise basics like enough rest, watching for signs of physical and mental fatigue and paying attention to what you eat.
- Keep your connections strong
One of the strongest predictors of life satisfaction is our relationships. Don’t try to do everything alone. We need people close to us—to celebrate our wins, push us forward and comfort us when things are hard.
Your support system might include a therapist or coach, but it’s also your friends and family. Don’t forget to have fun: to enjoy yourself, spend time with people you love and do things that make you happy. Joy can buffer stress and keep us going when we want to quit.
Mental strength isn’t only about pushing forward—just as physical strength isn’t only about training non-stop. It’s about balance—working and playing, loving and losing, pushing and resting, with the same ease and grace.
For more on supporting your mind and handling stress, read Managing Work Stress and How to Support Your Mental Health Through Nutrition.
Happy Life Team
